Set Boundaries

SET BOUNDARIES! Most of us have heard this before. For some of us it was presented as advice, for some of us it was a command, for some it was a reminder. Think about the last time you were on the receiving end of this statement. Reflect on why you were having this conversation. What about those of you who delivered this message? What were your intentions? Now ask yourself how often you are the deliverer and the receiver. In other words, is this part of your self-talk? For those of us who are constantly reminding ourselves to set our boundaries, we know how difficult it is to sustain our boundaries once their set. One of the reasons for this challenge is our boundaries are often set to protect ourselves from other people. People who intend to disrupt our peace, intentionally or unintentionally are focused on decreasing their stress by increasing ours; therefore, we find ourselves frequently reconstructing our boundaries based on individuals. This strategy becomes ineffective because we continue to be reactive instead of proactive as we attempt to adjust to other people's actions and words. So how do we build sustainable boundaries? Set boundaries focused more on protecting your time and less on individuals. I like to tell myself that "people will be people", meaning we cannot control people's actions, responses, or intentions. The best we can do is prepare and hope for a positive outcome when setting boundaries to protect against other people. But we can set boundaries that protect our time; the time we spend listening, the time we spend advising, and the time we spend scrolling, YES SCROLLING! Whether intentional or unintentional, endlessly taking on someone else's stress can disintegrate our well-being by keeping us in a negative mental and emotional space. The next time you say or hear SET BOUNDARIES, follow this advice, command, or reminder by setting designated times that you advise, listen, and scroll. Set designated times that you engage in something other than yourself. Protect your peace by protecting your time! Thanks for taking some time conversing with me.